Privilege

The bottle spins as the reams of thoughts flutter by my consciousness

As my disjointed synapses fire off things I would not mind saying with confidence

The bottle stops.

On me.

Breath in…

PAUSE

Settle on one idea, I see

‘Never have I ever wished for the unearned advantages distributed based on the values of the dominant matriarchal society that we live in’

All the men take a shot

All the women sit in awkward defensive silence

Sometimes silence is violent

Sometimes silence speaks of untold and underrepresented voices

Sometimes silence speaks of long internally torn oppressed histories, also known as ‘background noises’

Sometimes silence tells a story

Sometimes silence tells this story from alternate eyes

Do you realize?
Sometimes silence is violent

Like that one night out

Or EVERY single night out

Going out for some drinks, dancing and good times with the guys

As we get on the dancefloor, we form a little circle, and the dance the night away to our hears content

Enter woman.

She tries dancing up on me, to which I reply

By turning around and politely explaining ‘I’m sorry but I don’t want to dance with you’

‘Wow’ she replies, ‘What do you think you’re too good for me or something?’

‘No’-

‘Then what?? You got a girlfriend or something?’

‘No’-

‘Then what?? Are you gay or something?’

‘No’-

‘Then’- WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT answer would ever satisfy one who does not care about what I want

This is NOT my story to tell..

Truth is, never have I ever wished for the unearned advantages based on the values of the dominant patriarchal society that we live in

Truth is, all the women take a shot

Truth is, all the men sit in awkward defensive silence

Truth is, silence is violent

Truth is, no matter how many female friends, girlfriends, mother’s, sisters, cousins etc. I have, I will never ever, fully relate to the female experience

Truth is, I cannot speak for a life I have not lived

Truth is, however angry and frustrated this makes me, this does not compare to the experiences of those that have to live it every single day

Truth is, I think I finally know what it feels like to be white