R.I.P

Tears caress my cheek

As they tell me not to be meek
Be strong! Be strong!
You’ve got to carry on!
But I don’t want to carry on if carrying on means a mask must be worn

If not displaying emotions is strength, then WHY does it feel so wrong?
WHY?
Do I feel like I do not know what to do and feel

WHY?

Am I overanalyzing, is this really real?

This superficialness is simply the first stage of grief

Negativity has me feeling like Chief Keef

I DON’T LIKE! I DON’T LIKE!

Wipe the tears from my eyes, because as a man I should not cry

Societal expectations with no explanation are leaving me dry

Be strong for others, they say

BUT no one clarifies what this entails

WHY?

Do other people keep on telling me what I should do?
WHY?

Do they tell me to let it out for that decision they will rue!

There is an uncontrollable ball of rage inside of me

Digesting my intestines, if released a pretty sight you will not see!

So STOP telling me how I should feel

STOP telling me how I should heal

STOP telling me how I should deal

With my issues, walk a mile in my shoes

And you will quickly learn

That I have no idea why I feel the way I feel

I have no idea what is real and what is real

I thought time heals all but these emotions cannot be vanquished

WHY do you get to Rest in Peace?

While I’m Alive in Anguish…

So time goes on

And they say time heals all

But time merely marked the passage

Of emotional baggage

Transforming into a package

Making me a savage, cabbage, multilayered average carriage of damage

My soul was hemorrhaged

With the knowledge of death

A privilege and a curse

As I attempt to salvage the innocence I had left

People started dropping like flies around me!

The first was the catalyst for death to start surrounding!

Fear gripped me

For I could cry for none but the first

Was HE the most important or could it be worse?

Could I finally be becoming numb to the pain?

Fain feelings to gain normalcy, incapable of hurt like the Jain

Sorrow coursing through my veins

Never wane

Only thing keeping me sane
Is that you did not die in vain

For it taught me

Shy away from mediocrity

Life is TOO SHORT to not be the best that you can be

An obsession with death cultivated to a celebration of life

Focus on strife

Made me realize you only live twice

Death when your heart stops beating

Death when your name is uttered for the last time

Live on